Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
