Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
