I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
