Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
