But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
