Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we made out on top of his cat.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
