Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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