Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
