Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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