I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
