allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
