I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
