tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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