You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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