i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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