I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
