You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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