just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
