Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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