i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
