The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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