I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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