420 ftw
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my being single is dangerous.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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