Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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