Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
