Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
