there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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