If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
