I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
