I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
