I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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