I need help removing her.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So. Much. Porn.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
