My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
