if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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