K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
