In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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