Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
