Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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