Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I will pee on everything he values.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
