whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
