So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
