singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
