He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
