Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
