So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Say something about gay babies.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
