Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
