its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
