Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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