Got a toothbrush?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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