I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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