Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
