is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
